What do you do if someone throws a snowball at you?

Firstly complete a risk assessment form (preferably in triplicate) and submit it to the Health and Safety department of your local council. Deal with their response (typically with questions such as – age of snow, whether it was fresh or had been previously used as a snow ball, size and capacity, age of persons at whom it will be thrown, whether the recipients had received parental permission to participate in a snowball fight, together with an indemnity form). After three months you will receive a certificate for permission to throw a snowball or balls strictly in accordance with the terms and conditions outlined on the form and as soon as the appropriate licence fee has been paid for and received. In order to ensure the certificate arrives in time it’s best to submit it three months in advance and establish a hotline for permission to vary. Then you will be able to throw the snowball back.

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